I’ve been suffering from terrible writers block. I haven’t been able to write for months. Too tired, too busy, a multitude of reasons have sprung to my lips in a weird, swaying procrastination dance to avoid putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. In truth I was blank, creativity had stalled, inspiration had deserted me. The days became a monotonous grind, my own personal imprint of groundhog day. I could feel myself slipping into the arms of my old foe depression. What happened to the good thoughts? The happy ones? The living in the now? Don’t get me wrong, there were flashes of happiness, even days of happiness. I mean, why wouldn’t I be happy? I have a wonderful life, a gorgeous and supportive husband, a delightful and happy little girl but still I began to sink…
We needed to get away, a holiday, a break from routine. Our first choice of destination was local, Byron Bay but the weather forecast showed low temperatures and stormy weather not exactly the kind of trip to bring me out of my melancholy, especially as the weather mirrored my mood. Then one word popped into my head…BALI! A magical place that never fails to soothe, refresh and relax me. Not the Bali that involves the fast paced drunken nightclub scene of Kuta or the upmarket, just like home feel of Seminyak and Legian with their fancy restaurants but a quiet private villa in a quiet street that houses locals and expats. Where local taxi’s need directions to find it and a short walk will get you to the local end of the beach and some small warungs with simple but delicious food. Within a week of that word popping into my head, my little family and I were disembarking from a delightful Garuda flight from Brisbane. Our nostrils assaulted by the heady aroma of heat, clove cigarettes and incense that is the scent of Bali.
As we crossed the tarmac to the waiting buses I realised what had happened… I had forgotten to be vigilant, to watch my thoughts. Happiness is not something that comes naturally to everyone. We need to remind ourselves to live in the now, to pull ourselves out of negative thinking and to embrace a happiness we can find deep within our souls that has nothing to do with outside influences and material things. There is a book I carry around with me called Zen and the Art of Happiness. It starts with this:
There is only one way to achieve lasting happiness. That way is simple: Be happy.
Sounds easy right? Not for everyone, being happy 100% of the time is rare.
But I would like to be happier.
So with this in mind I jump on the bus, hold my daughter tight, smile at my husband and look forward to regaining my momentum. Happiness here I come.